This is the current rebuild of my site, click to see the Old version (before you tell me I know that the url is new.letorey.co.uk that is because the ssl certificate works for this but not old).
This year I have been struggling with my mental health. I have been feeling overwhelmed, have not been able to sleep properly and felt like nobody likes me (and yes I know that this is not true).
This all culminated in the queue for Glastonbury festival where I started having panic attacks and after a night with no sleep all I wanted to do was go home and hide. My awesome friends rally round and helped me get into the festival and I was able to calm down and take some time out.
It was at Glastonbury that I made 2 decisions. The first was to speak to someone about Where my head was at. The Second was to find a Personal Trainer to help me improve the strength of the muscles around my joints to help stave off the Osteoarthritis that is affecting them, especially my knees.
Once I returned from Glastonbury I made an appointment with my Doctor and they asked me to come in straight away. I was seen by a Physician associate, they asked me loads of questions about my mental health, how I was feeling, abd my general state of health. They also referred me for blood tests and took my blood pressure. They then suggested that I get some therapy and referred me to Newham Talking Therapies.
After a couple of days Newham Talking Therapies got in contact with me and set me up to have a phone call appointment to work out what was going to be the past path forward for me. After filling in another questionnaire I received a call from someone in Leeds, it rather confused me that someone in Leeds was calling me a Newham Talking Therapies, it turns out the Talking Therapies is a national thing and that I'd be dealt with in Newham.
After a long chat the decision was reached that I would sign-up to a Group Therapy Workshop, where we learn how to deal with the feelings and anxiety that we are feeling. The workshop started this week on Thursday 20 August. I walked to the session and getting there there were 8 of us. At the beginning we did an ice breaker where we had to say who we were and what out favourite food was, it felt like being in a work meeting with a new client. It came to my turn and as with all these things your favourite X depends on what you're doing, where you are and how you are feeling at the time. So I said:
Hi my name is Dave and being a northerner my favourite food is Gravy.
Throughout the session we were asked a group of questions and what we thought the answers were. At the end of the session I was asked to stay behind, after class as that the group leader could talk to me about how I thought it went. It turns out that I am not normal and that every question I had answered very differently to everyone else in the group. I was told that these workshops were probably not the best for me as they are quite generic and match the majority of people suffering with anxiety and being overwhelmed and that I was very much not the majority of people, for example most people go and hide and avoid situations with lots of people whereas I go out of my way to be in those situations. It has been suggested that I have one to one therapy sessions, they are going to phone me tomorrow to discuss what is the best way forward and how best they can help me.
The second decision was to strengthen the muscles around my joints so that they last longer and can support me better. My partner Susan is a member of a local gym and has had a personal trainer since the end of last year, the effect on her has been amazing and she is now addicted to training sessions going many times a week.
She gave me a list of personal trainers that work at the gym and one that runs a local Pilates class. I emailed them all and explained a little about who I am, what my hobbies were and what my goals were for getting a personal trainer. I also asked them what experience they had working with older clients and specifically with the kind of medical conditions I am suffering from.
I only received replies from 2 of the personal trainers that I'd emailed. one was Susan's PT and the other was the Pilates teacher Amar. After a trial session with Amar, I have decided to go with her. I have so far had 4 sessions which has focused on strengthening my joints without putting load on them, which is absolutely what I need at the moment. I am really enjoying these sessions at the moment and she is giving me confidence too.
On Friday I went to Crystal Palace to see Basement Jaxx. I'd applied for an access-wristband so that I could use the accessible queue and toilets. When Vicky and went in we went to the accessible queue which just so happened to be the VIP queue (for those that had paid extra). The staff manning this queue were a little confused when I said access please and they gave Vicky and I VIP passes, I then when to the access desk and they were also confused that I'd been given VIP passes so we had a little laugh.
So our newly acquired VIP passes gained us access to the VIP area, which was just a different bar with some sofas. But when we got to the bar they were selling draft pints as apposed to the normal bars which were only selling cans so a pint (568ml) cost £7.50 and a can (440ml) cost the same. There were also flushing toilets. I definitely would not pay an extra £40 for access to 8 sofas and a bit of shade.
The support acts were:
Basement Jaxx set was superb and one of the best gigs I have attended this year. The crowd were incredible and hardly anyone had their phones out filming except when they played Where's your head at just before the encore, everyone was just dancing and partying. Such an incredible experience, go see Basement Jaxx if you can.
All photo's were taken by my friend Sarah as I took none what so every as I was just dancing.
To be honest I have no idea where my head is at, but I feel that these two decisions have put me on the correct path and we'll see how things progress. I shall always continue going to gigs and festivals as they do bring me joy in my life and that can only help right?
Thank you for reading this and if I have been rude or short with you in the past months then I am sorry about that, I shall endeavour to do better.