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Today my mum passed away, it was very peaceful.
Video Gallery of Mum's life (15 minutes 168 photos).
Today (Saturday 10 January 2025) we scattered my mum's ashes. We scattered them at Scunthorpe Crematorium at the tree where we'd previously scattered, my Dad (Ray Letorey), Grandma (Maggie Kinnock), Grandad (Wilf Kinnock) and Uncle Harold (Grandad's brother).
It was a sad, moving and lovely event. My brother Simon started scattering the ashes, in a heart shape, around the family tree and then I scattered the rest. Afterwards Auntie Sandra (mum's sister) and Paula (Simon's wife) laid some flowers. Cousin Sarah was also there.
Afterwards we all went and had a coffee together, before going our separate ways.
Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest.
Here are just a few words about our Mum, Margaret Letorey.
She was the oldest child of Maggie and Wilf Kinnock, with Brian and Sandra coming along later. During her childhood, and to help combat the impact of her asthma, the doctor prescribed the fresh air of South Wales where she spent a number of years, including school years in Tredegar living with Aunty Dor. She was very proud of her Welsh heritage and spoke fondly of those years, and it gave her the hidden talent of speaking Welsh.
Later, when she was back in Scunthorpe, Uncle Brian introduced Mum to one of his workmates, Ray. They hit it off straight away and in 1968 they were married, before we came along.
Mum had a number of jobs over the years, including in the Co-op menswear department in Scunthorpe before we came along, and then at Corah’s and then as a vending machine operative in later years.
Growing up, Mum and Dad made our childhood fun (well most of the time!). We didn’t have pots of cash, but we have so many great memories. Mum always put everyone else first and made sure everybody was happy.
We used to holiday in the UK having fun-filled camping trips. The first experience when we went with Uncle Brian, Aunty Rita, Paul and Charlotte to Whitby was eventful thanks to the hired tent not having matching poles and canvas, which led to the tent blowing away. However, never to be beaten, that didn’t stop Mum and Dad from trying again and after buying our own tent there were many memorable camping trips that followed – sometimes just the 4 of us, and other times with large groups of friends.
Mum also liked a good party, whether attending those put on by others but also bringing her friends together. It was regularly on special occasions such as Christmas, Birthdays, Anniversary’s, or just because! There were fancy dress parties, and we also remember on those occasions we were allowed to stay up to see the costumes. We were meant to go to bed after that, but we remember coming back down as “we couldn’t sleep”, and then we got to join in.
In more recent years, as her grandchildren arrived, our mum was keen to help where she could and also wanted to join in with their games and toys, which sometimes gave them lots of giggles as she tried to work out how to play - one memorable occasion included a Virtual Reality headset! Singing was something else she loved, and Mum did enjoy a good sing song. Whether listening to others, such as Welsh Male Voice Choirs, Andrew Bocelli, Michael Ball and others. But also belting out songs herself, and for those of us here who were in the room at that time, we know it was something quite individual and spectacular.
Mum also liked to travel when she had the opportunity. Before she was married, she visited Florence, Venice and Norway with family and friends to name just a few. In more recent years she’s travelled with family and friends to celebrate family weddings and birthdays in places such as Spain, Portugal, France, South Africa, China, and not forgetting Glasgow.
Our mum took such pride in everything her family and friends did and achieved and would share this with all she would see. She also always showed such care for everybody she knew. When Dad became ill, Mum cared and nursed him, but always made sure that we had what we needed. When dad passed away in 1988, we were all devastated, but she put us first, which we now recognise must have been such a hard thing to do as she grieved the loss of her dear husband.
Our mum was part of so many celebrations for so many families as for many years she made cakes for their special occasions. She made a very tasty fruit cake, and we were always amazed at the designs of the decoration and the intricacy of the sugar paste flowers that featured so often. She was always pleased to provide cakes to support fundraising. She was an active member of the Sugar craft gild and enjoyed many types of crafts, such as making cards, decoupage and she enjoyed passing this to her grandchildren.
Mum had moved from Sherwood Vale to Tavistock Court, and then into April Lodge and finally into Edmund House when she needed extra support. She’d loved every one of these places and had made good friends. She was so pleased to be in Edmund House and always referred to it as being like a hotel, and we know she loved being there and really appreciated the care and love the staff showed.
Although Mum was not able to get around so much in recent years, she always wanted to hear about how the family were and what people had planned, whether that be for holidays or just generally. On Simon’s weekly visits they’d watch quiz shows together, with her favourites being the Chase (she loved Bradley!) and also House of Games, but she did admit that she really had no clue what was going on!
We’d like to thank everyone for coming along to celebrate our Mum’s life, but we’re also thinking of those who haven’t been able to travel. It’s now time to say goodbye knowing she can now rest easy. She was loved by many, but she’ll always be here with us in our hearts and memories.
Love you Mum
Grief is just love with no place to go.
Thank you for that beautiful tribute to your Mum: a wonderful lady who gave so much to her family, always there for them, encouraging them and in return was able to receive from them their love, care and devotion especially during her later years when she found it harder to get around.
When I met with Margaret's family we chattered about many aspects of Margaret's life including her genuine love for people and how she cared ,not only her family, but for the many friends who walked alongside her throughout her life. Such was the compassionate lady she was.
We’ve heard of her love for entertaining, her love for travel enabling her to see other parts of the world: often visiting family along the way. Of her love for music and singing and of course her love of baking.
Whenever I think of Margaret, I automatically remember the wonderful cakes she made others to enjoy. They were so yummy! This reminded me of a recipe book. A recipe book is just words with the odd picture thrown in to show how the intended outcome should look like. My efforts never look like that picture, but Margaret’s certainly did and tasted fabulous. She had to ability to bring those simple plain words and pictures to life with such creativity and that was a true gift: a true blessing she was given which she so willingly shared with so many.
She was always eager to help us with our gatherings/coffee mornings and lunches at church and thoroughly enjoyed helping us with our children’s activity morning at Church, crafting away and chatting to all the children : no wonder she enjoyed her time as a lollipop lady: Getting to know all those children and their families as they made their journeys to school and back.
I last visited Margaret in Edmond house where we shared in Holy Communion together and then reminisced about holidays and all the places she had traveled to. She was so excited to recall the recent family gathering as you all celebrated her 80th birthday together. And she took great pride in telling me the meaning behind the familiar furnishings she had in her room that meant so much to her.
Margaret lived a life filled with many journeys : a life filled with joys and sorrows, challenges and achievements ,a life lived through adventure, determination, courage and a great sense of what it means to be family.
The reading and hymns chosen for us today also speak of a journey through all the trials and tribulations, ups and downs of life. But it doesn’t end here.
These words reassure us that even though all the sadness and pain we are suffering at this time this is not the end for Margaret and our relationship with her. For they all speak of an incredible love and a journey with a resting place for us all. Reassuring us that God is always there to help us, to walk alongside us if we wish him to be. Reminding us we that are never left on our own and at the end of our journey in this life there will be peace and rest in another eternal life.
The reading we heard from John also gives us three promises: promises that can bring us some comfort.
The first is the promise of peace. Jesus says, “Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me”. Today is a day of great sadness - a day of grief, a day of mourning, yet even in the midst of all this you can find some peace.
The second promise is that God has prepared a place for us. Jesus tells us that this place is “The Father’s house, and that there are many rooms.” There is a room, a place in his house for all of us.
The third promise is that God has prepared a way for us to get there. Jesus says “I am the way , the truth and the life” We are all travellers on our own journeys in life. But he is there to lead and guide us if we wish him too.
The two hymns we are singing today not only tell us about this wonderful love God has for us.
Lord of all hope fullness Lord of all joy: hope that Margaret is at peace now with God
And as the service comes to an end we will sing the hymn: Guide me O thou great redeemer: a hymn which speaks of a journey through life with Gods as our guide, ending in the ultimate journey to his promised land : Gods eternal Kingdom which as Christians we believe Margaret has already made.
This is the faith Margaret shared with us all: the love, joy and guidance her God gave her throughout her life which she so willingly and opening shared with others she met along the way.
Although we will miss Margaret greatly, these reading hymns and music we’ve heard today can help us to begin that journey in our lives without her physically by our side: giving us the hope for the future and courage to carry on.
But we are helped with this sense of loss in our lives because we are blessed with another unique gift from God to help us and comfort us in our grief and that is the wonderful gift of memory: a gift that keeps us connected to each other and it is our memories that make us who we are.
So hold on to your memories of Margaret in your hearts and minds. Memories that build up a picture of the person she was, the person we gather to say goodbye to today.
And as we remember Margaret and celebrate and give thanks for her time with us here, we can also ask for God’s healing on our own wounds: to help us move from darkness to the light of a new day and sustain us in our own journeys in life.
I’d like if I may to leave you with a quote which also expresses not only the pain of grief but helps us to acknowledge the grief we feel you feel so deeply.
“To love someone is to risk the pain of parting. Not to love is never to have lived. The grief which we now experience is the honouring of our love for Margaret
This is pure raw love which never leaves us even in the midst of death.